My apologies

Dear all,

Sorry about the extended delay in posting. I returned to Sudan in the middle of February and simply found picking up the strings of my job, as well as a whole raft of other work took the energy I had been dedicating to blogging. This hopefully won't happen again.

I think their is another reason why I am blogging again - frustration.

When I first returned everything seemed possible and probable. Plans were made, next steps scheduled and strategies put into motion. I was enthusiastic and optimistic. A month and a half later I find that despite the paper created, the workshops attended and the flip chart/white boards filled nothing has changed. Even if our project had the impact on the ground that I would like, still this would not essentially change anything. People would still by dying or living destitute in Darfur. The rebels would still be criminally incompetent, and the government would still be intent on the destruction of all potential challengers to its own hypocritical authority.

I am beginning to believe that the naivety required to be a humanitarian, is in fact a deeply cynical adventure. By pretending that good actions in a bad world can make a difference we are in fact avoiding the much starker and darker reality that if we really want to stop events like Darfur we must be political, partisan and involved.

The problem with recognising this, is that I am confident that we cannot maintain our own moral purity if we do this.